America West: The Worst Airline Ever?
As I write this, I'm cruising at an altitude of
roughly 29,000 feet. Looking down below me, I can see Newport Beach, Balboa
Island, and even a house I lived in when I was a kid - a house on the Back Bay -
right on the water. Amazing. Gorgeous view. Of course, I'm not supposed to be
seeing this right now.
I have America West to thank for this aerial view
of my childhood. They're now "oh" for two with me. Right now, in fact, I
should be looking at the inside of McCarren airport as I make my way past the
slot machines to the baggage claim area. Why am I, in fact, looking at a house
I lived in when I was a kid from 29,000 feet in the air? Yet another cancelled
America West flight. I'm not even headed for Vegas; I'm on my way to Phoenix to
catch a connecting flight. I expect to join the bachelor party between 10 and
11 p.m., missing dinner and possibly other, less savoury activities. "Ah well,"
I had thought to myself, "I'll just start the party on the plane and have a few
beers." No such luck! This is American West, don't forget. My choices are
Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, V-8, or water - pretty much the
gamut of Pepsi products with the water thrown in for diabetics. Remind me in
the future to bring my own booze when flying on a budget. I now understand why
the girl at the ticket counter laughed at me when I asked for free
drinks.
The flight attendant, at least,
is entertaining. She, or perhaps he, looks familiar - "La Cage Aux Folles" is
ringing a bell. I think it might be Meshach Taylor in drag... but I
digress...
The last time America West did
this to me, I was trying to get home from Edmonton, Canada, with my wife and two
young children. It was Christmas last year and the flight, if I remember
correctly, was scheduled to depart at 5:30 p.m. The details are sketchy at this
point, but I DO remember still standing in line at 4:30 a.m. trying to get a
flight out. I found a secluded spot where my wife and kids could sleep, and
thank god they did; the trip home ended up taking over 33 hours instead of the
five and a half it was supposed to. The final tally was 33 1/2 hours, four
flights and three layovers. The last layover was particularly irritating; it
was four hours, twice as long as it would've taken us to drive home from
LAX.
Mmmm... peanuts just arrived! I
haven't eaten since dinner last night. I didn't know anyone still served
peanuts on flights - thought that had been outlawed due to allergy issues - but
at the moment, I'm glad of anything I can get. My layover in Phoenix should be
just long enough to be irritating but not long enough to eat. Oh, dear... I
just drifted off the topic. Well that happens when you should be checking into
a hotel but, instead, are on the first leg of a trip that should've only had one
to start with.
Meshach just announced our
descent into the "Valley of the Sun", so that'll be it for this entry. Oh, and
there was so much I still had to say! Maybe on the next
leg.
My advice: Cough up a little extra
cash and fly with a REAL airline. At this point, I'll just be happy to be on
the ground safely!
Posted: Sat
- November 5, 2005 at 04:03 PM