The Worst Job in the World and "Daddy Brain"
Shortly after my return from L.A., I embarked on a
new, albeit short-lived, career.
A friend of mine, Anne (Jake's fiancée in
fact), had signed on with a friend's company to sell books. The way it was
described to me was that you go to a variety of different drop points, fill the
orders, pick up the money, and collect a healthy 25% for your trouble. Not bad
at all! It was sold to me as basically easy, under-the-table money with as much
as $10,000 to be made in a single month. (Yes, apparently it's been
done!)
However, this was Anne's deal and the commission would have to be split. She asked me to help due to a twice-broken ankle and associated knee problems--she just couldn't do all of the walking and lifting. The plan was for her to do all of the driving, inventory and accounting, and I'd be the grunt who did everything else.
WEEK 1 :
Well to start with, I thought the company we were working for was in the book distribution business--perhaps connected with a publisher--and that we would be delivering to bookstores which would buy five of these, ten of those, and maybe twenty of the other. This was way off the mark. We had a route to cover: a list of drop points in a given locale. (I discovered later that these different locales were absolutely all over the map--as much as 100 miles apart.) The list was primarily made up of schools, medical and dental clinics, and the odd business like a day care centre or insurance company. I would go into the place, explain that I was from Reader's World Books, and ask if "I could please leave a few books in your staff room?" Most of the routes hadn't been covered in awhile, so it took a bit of explanation to get through the door. The goal was to hit between 30 and 35 "drops" a day. The first day, I think we did about fifteen. There was absolutely no money to be made in this stage, and we worked sometimes as many as 10 hours in a day. (Our record was 14 hours.) By the end of the week, I was absolutely wrecked. There was tons of driving, tons of walking, and half of that walking included a bag full of books weighing about 25 pounds--not too much but when you have to find the office of a large school only to find that the staff room is at the opposite end of the school up two flights of stairs, it wears on you quickly.
WEEK 2 - PAY DAY! :
After the first week of drops, we'd return a week later to fill any orders and pick up the books. This was, sort of, the part that had been explained to me. After the first week with absolutely no income, I was ready to make some cash. I'm just going to go ahead and cut to the chase, here. Anne and I, after gas had been deducted, made a whopping $289 each for two weeks of work. That was the end of it for both of us.
The following week, I agreed to take care of some unfinished drops for Anne. One of them was in a place called Whitecourt, over two hours away! There were a few other piddling bits and pieces to be done, and all-in-all, the week was a washout. I did, however, find two possible locations for "Due North". Right now, I'm leaning towards the closer of the two, Onoway, which is about a half an hour away. The other, Bruderheim, is well-over an hour from here. I suppose that if that's all I got from the book job, it was still worth it.
However, I have to say that this was one of the most mind-numbingly awful jobs I've ever done. The first day in week one, I didn't know what to expect but was bored by day two. The same thing happened in the second week, and in the end, I almost couldn't bring myself to go. With Jake, at least, there was always something to be learned--how to keep your fingers out of the saws, how to climb ladders in the rain, or even just the best method to fold and manoeuver tin. Jake is a master craftsman with a wealth of knowledge he likes to impart. The book thing was just drudgery. I also was shown the door in a few places that didn't allow solicitors (but were, for whatever reason, on our route). It's never fun getting booted out of anywhere except a bar.
So my plan after this was to start working with Jake again. In the meantime, however, a Newfie (someone from Newfoundland for those of you stateside) friend of mine who plays on my 8-ball team had decided to start working with Jake because he needed the money and Jake needed the help. I suddenly found myself with no under-the-table employment to go back to but now with an additional $400 a month to come up with to cover utilities for the place we're house-sitting. It was decided that Wendy should work as much as possible leaving me at home with the kids... and this is when I developed daddy brain.
Anyone who knows anyone with kids has, I'm sure, heard of "Mummy Brain". Well, it happens to stay-at-home dads too. The first thing that happens is you become chronically tired: kids have more energy than you do and require constant attention. Within a couple of days, you find yourself in the same sort of sleep-deprived, exhausted state that brain-washers use to prepare their subjects for manipulation. This makes sense because shortly after the chronic exhaustion phase, your mind becomes filled with snack-time, nap-time (a period in the day you begin to long for), and piss and shit and spilled drinks, food encrusted clothing, irrational behaviour, and the Care Bears. Your brain is slowly liquified into a semi-gelatinous substance good only for reciting the alphabet, counting to ten (but no farther), preparing pseudo-healthy snacks and meals that don't take long to make and won't be bathed in or tossed on the floor, and settling petty territorial and property disputes to absolutely no one's satisfaction. I've included a diagram:
Don't get me wrong--I love my kids. I just can't wait until we can talk about Descartes or Brubeck without the discussion being interrupted by "daddy, I have to go poops."
Last Saturday, I met for the first time with the Edmonton Independent Film and Television Meetup Group", a group I joined shortly after moving here but had never had the time to get together with. It was somewhat disappointing; the message I came away with was that there are almost no actors in town who will work free and no crew who will show up on time, if at all. Having said that, there was a sound mixer there who was excited to meet me and said that he's down for just about anything.
A few days after that, we had our first snow. It only stuck for a day and has since been raining, but it made me think more seriously about "Due North" again. It's been a month since my last blog entry, and I haven't had the time or energy to really think about it since. If I'm going to do it, the clock is starting to tick.
However, this was Anne's deal and the commission would have to be split. She asked me to help due to a twice-broken ankle and associated knee problems--she just couldn't do all of the walking and lifting. The plan was for her to do all of the driving, inventory and accounting, and I'd be the grunt who did everything else.
WEEK 1 :
Well to start with, I thought the company we were working for was in the book distribution business--perhaps connected with a publisher--and that we would be delivering to bookstores which would buy five of these, ten of those, and maybe twenty of the other. This was way off the mark. We had a route to cover: a list of drop points in a given locale. (I discovered later that these different locales were absolutely all over the map--as much as 100 miles apart.) The list was primarily made up of schools, medical and dental clinics, and the odd business like a day care centre or insurance company. I would go into the place, explain that I was from Reader's World Books, and ask if "I could please leave a few books in your staff room?" Most of the routes hadn't been covered in awhile, so it took a bit of explanation to get through the door. The goal was to hit between 30 and 35 "drops" a day. The first day, I think we did about fifteen. There was absolutely no money to be made in this stage, and we worked sometimes as many as 10 hours in a day. (Our record was 14 hours.) By the end of the week, I was absolutely wrecked. There was tons of driving, tons of walking, and half of that walking included a bag full of books weighing about 25 pounds--not too much but when you have to find the office of a large school only to find that the staff room is at the opposite end of the school up two flights of stairs, it wears on you quickly.
WEEK 2 - PAY DAY! :
After the first week of drops, we'd return a week later to fill any orders and pick up the books. This was, sort of, the part that had been explained to me. After the first week with absolutely no income, I was ready to make some cash. I'm just going to go ahead and cut to the chase, here. Anne and I, after gas had been deducted, made a whopping $289 each for two weeks of work. That was the end of it for both of us.
The following week, I agreed to take care of some unfinished drops for Anne. One of them was in a place called Whitecourt, over two hours away! There were a few other piddling bits and pieces to be done, and all-in-all, the week was a washout. I did, however, find two possible locations for "Due North". Right now, I'm leaning towards the closer of the two, Onoway, which is about a half an hour away. The other, Bruderheim, is well-over an hour from here. I suppose that if that's all I got from the book job, it was still worth it.
However, I have to say that this was one of the most mind-numbingly awful jobs I've ever done. The first day in week one, I didn't know what to expect but was bored by day two. The same thing happened in the second week, and in the end, I almost couldn't bring myself to go. With Jake, at least, there was always something to be learned--how to keep your fingers out of the saws, how to climb ladders in the rain, or even just the best method to fold and manoeuver tin. Jake is a master craftsman with a wealth of knowledge he likes to impart. The book thing was just drudgery. I also was shown the door in a few places that didn't allow solicitors (but were, for whatever reason, on our route). It's never fun getting booted out of anywhere except a bar.
So my plan after this was to start working with Jake again. In the meantime, however, a Newfie (someone from Newfoundland for those of you stateside) friend of mine who plays on my 8-ball team had decided to start working with Jake because he needed the money and Jake needed the help. I suddenly found myself with no under-the-table employment to go back to but now with an additional $400 a month to come up with to cover utilities for the place we're house-sitting. It was decided that Wendy should work as much as possible leaving me at home with the kids... and this is when I developed daddy brain.
Anyone who knows anyone with kids has, I'm sure, heard of "Mummy Brain". Well, it happens to stay-at-home dads too. The first thing that happens is you become chronically tired: kids have more energy than you do and require constant attention. Within a couple of days, you find yourself in the same sort of sleep-deprived, exhausted state that brain-washers use to prepare their subjects for manipulation. This makes sense because shortly after the chronic exhaustion phase, your mind becomes filled with snack-time, nap-time (a period in the day you begin to long for), and piss and shit and spilled drinks, food encrusted clothing, irrational behaviour, and the Care Bears. Your brain is slowly liquified into a semi-gelatinous substance good only for reciting the alphabet, counting to ten (but no farther), preparing pseudo-healthy snacks and meals that don't take long to make and won't be bathed in or tossed on the floor, and settling petty territorial and property disputes to absolutely no one's satisfaction. I've included a diagram:
Don't get me wrong--I love my kids. I just can't wait until we can talk about Descartes or Brubeck without the discussion being interrupted by "daddy, I have to go poops."
Last Saturday, I met for the first time with the Edmonton Independent Film and Television Meetup Group", a group I joined shortly after moving here but had never had the time to get together with. It was somewhat disappointing; the message I came away with was that there are almost no actors in town who will work free and no crew who will show up on time, if at all. Having said that, there was a sound mixer there who was excited to meet me and said that he's down for just about anything.
A few days after that, we had our first snow. It only stuck for a day and has since been raining, but it made me think more seriously about "Due North" again. It's been a month since my last blog entry, and I haven't had the time or energy to really think about it since. If I'm going to do it, the clock is starting to tick.
Posted: Thu - October 19, 2006 at 02:22 PM
Quick Links
Calendar
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
Categories
Archives
XML/RSS Feed
Statistics
Total entries in this blog:
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Oct 04, 2007 02:05 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Oct 04, 2007 02:05 PM